Have you ever just wanted to drop the “It isn’t fair” card with God? Have you ever felt like a chess piece in some cosmic game? I know I have. I think all of us come to the feeling of “the end of me.” “The End of Me,” is a feeling of pure stuck. You have done all you know to do for good and to be faithful and hoping God would meet you halfway at least only to feel like you are trying to run in mud or swim against the current.
I have just finished reading through Job in a Chronological Bible. Most of the book is written from Job being at the end of himself and some thick headed friends that offer little help. Behind the scenes, God and Satan are using Job to prove they are right. Before the wager of God and satan, Job was found faithful to the Lord. Satan said it was only because he walked in the full blessing of the Lord in his family, health, influence, and finances. Job has no control over the direction of his life and we read the story watching his response. Many conversations happen with Job and his friends before God speaks. Job has accused God of being unfair.
A young prophet finally speaks into the situation with what seems to be a harsh response…
Job 36:26 “Look, God is greater than we can understand.
His years cannot be counted.
27 He draws up the water vapor
and then distills it into rain.
28 The rain pours down from the clouds,
and everyone benefits.
29 Who can understand the spreading of the clouds
and the thunder that rolls forth from heaven?
30 See how he spreads the lightning around him
and how it lights up the depths of the sea.
31 By these mighty acts he nourishes the people,
giving them food in abundance.
32 He fills his hands with lightning bolts
and hurls each at its target.
33 The thunder announces his presence;
the storm announces his indignant anger
Job is reminded if God is really in control and has allowed him into this mess, then God would be the one who can get him out. Job does what many of us do. He tries to make God like him. That God would be corrupt, evil, or alluf. Then Job remembers God’s faithfulness and humbles himself before the Lord. Then the Lord blesses him with more than he had before and restore in abundance the blessing.
Where do you think God is unfair, but God is looking for you to be faithful and obedient? Who are we to accuse the one who holds lightning bolts and mercy in His hand? Where did we get off thinking we deserve breath, hope, and salvation? What if “the end of me” is actually the beginning of the richness of blessing He wants to give? What if you need to grow your view of God and find your identity in Him?
So I pray “the end of me” over both of us today!
Recklessly, obsessively following Jesus