The other night my small group of 11th and 12th grade guys were over and my son came to tell me good night. I kissed him on the head, told him I was proud of him, and told him good job on his spelling test that he brought home that day. To Levi this is a very normal night. To the guys in my small group, this was a big deal. The next 20 minutes all we did is talk about how much they would give to have their dad’s say they are proud of them. They talked about how it has been years since their dad kissed them. Several hardly talk to their dad.
Affection is a sign of love. They look forward to a kiss at night. I give them a hug as well. I served for a pastor in Kansas City that would kiss me when he saw me. At first, I was a little weirded out by it, but now I look forward to it. He played as a spiritual father in my life. Affection tenderizes the heart. Be affectionate! If you don’t think you are an affectionate person, get over yourself and be affectionate. Adult children, be affectionate! Their spouse be affectionate! Show them love.
Ask about their day:
If they give one word answers, ask more questions. Ask what the best part of their day was and the worst part. Keep the focus on them. Look for good in them and encourage it. Celebrate their successes, and look for them to do good. This will give you insight to who their friends are and what they are about. You will hear what they value and what they want. You will hear what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. You will be a part of their great days and on the bad ones you will be there. Engage in their world and lead them through it.
Speak life over them:
Your words carry great weight. Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Never call your child stupid, a disappointment, or insignificant. Never associate their actions with who they are. Just because they failed does not mean they are a failure. Just because they don’t handle pain well does not make them less of a man. When you speak life or you speak death they believe you. We all have memories of people who spoke life over us, and we believed them. We also have people who spoke death over us, and we believed them to. Your children will become what you speak over them! Speak life!
So today find a way to show affection, ask about their day, and speak life over them! Stop making excuses and do it…
Recklessly, obsessively following Jesus