I’ve come to a pivotal cross roads in my life. What path I take will alter my life and the lives of some that I deeply love. As I confront this situation, mostly of my own creation, I’ve turned my focus to God and His word. I also began reading back through the pieces that I have written. Some had provided peace and clarity, others, heaps of conviction.
I wrote this piece some time ago. Considering things that are happening in my life right now, I thought it was fitting to revisit it.
James 3:6 (NKJV) And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
God has blessed and gifted me in an array of areas. One of His gifts is my ability to communicate. He gifted me with a quick wit, an ability to deductively reason, evaluate and read people and situations and then effectively communicate ideas across a great many levels. That is a blessing, for sure. Let me assure you, I share this self evaluation in all humility and give God full credit and glory for His graciousness.
A blessing, no doubt, that is until it is perverted, manipulated, abused and weaponized. Then it is a curse to befall someone. You see, He gifted me in a way that can be very beneficial to His church, the community, my family and my friends. He can use me, like He’s doing right this moment. Or… I can abuse it. He can use me and this gift to bring about healing of hearts, for teaching, for encouragement, to bring the Gospel to those that need to hear it in just such a way. It’s a powerful gift. It can be fruitful and beautiful. Or… it can bring pain, destruction and misery.
God’s conviction is painful, because it is true. I have abused the power He entrusted to me. I have used it against people who love and trust me. I have used it to inflict pain for spite’s sake. I have weaponized my words to hurt people close to me, because I can, and I felt justified. Why? Perhaps a slight? Probably merely perceived. Beat them to it? They were not likely headed there. Well they…fill in the blank. GARBAGE! I do it because I’m human. I’m weak. I’m ill tempered, self centered and insecure. I want to feel power over something or someone, so I attack. Sad!
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:5 (NKJV) Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth.
Scott, you want power? There’s real power, “meek”. To be meek, to exercise meekness, sounds like an inferior position to most. Society today equates that word with weakness, cast down, wimpy. It’s not. To be meek is to exercise restraint when you could so easily overpower and subdue. Meekness is power controlled, managed, restrained when it would be easier to unleash. Meekness is humility, tenderness, compassion, empathy. Meekness is power. Meekness is Christ acted out. God had the power to do whatever to whomever He chose. Those who spat on Him, cursed Him, hated and reviled Him, in a breath He could have annihilated them, but He didn’t. He chose meekness, power restrained. He chose love.
My words should be used for inspiration, teaching and healing. My words should be an illustration of God’s love and grace, not twisted for spite and vengeance.
James 3:9,10 (NKJV) With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. To pervert this gift, nullifies my effectiveness. It undoes what God would use me for.
Lord, I thank you for bringing this to the forefront for me. Forgive me God for this abuse and perversion of Your gracious gift. I ask that you continue to shape my character, refine me Lord. Help me Lord to proceed in humility and meekness, to use this gift in a way that only honors you Father. Amen
In full pursuit of the greatest Trophy,
Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
The pain and anguish that I’ve inflicted with my words cannot be undone. Things will never be like they were, could have or should have been. My prayer to my Father in heaven is that You would bring peace and healing to those whom I’ve injured. I pray that You would fill their hearts with grace and forgiveness. Not for my sake Lord, but for theirs. That through the power of grace, You would eradicate the burden and weight of bitterness and malice that I have cultivated in them. Bring them peace, joy, security and an overwhelming sense of Your love and protection, that they may move forward in the glorious life you’ve destined for them. Amen