Growing up I always saw the Bible like a magnifying glass. I would read it, look at the world, and judge people based on what I read. It served like a magnifying glass. The problem with that is you cannot see your reflection in a magnifying glass. In college, my views changed. I started reading the Bible like a mirror. Instead of evaluating with world and other people through what I read, I started to look into me like a mirror.
The Mirror changed everything. I saw how far I had to go, not in a “I am bad or stuck” sort of way, but in a I need God to change me to look less like me and more like Him. I wanted to look in a mirror and see the character and love of Jesus. Then I came across this verse…
Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Search me is a dangerous prayer. Know my heart… Like all of it. What about the addicted parts, the lustful parts, the selfish parts? Does a God who knows my heart want to have relationship with me? YES! This is the great exchange. Jesus took all of that junk and gave us all his goodness. So when we invite Jesus to know our hearts, he will reveal our mess so we can give it to Him to bear.
Test me and know my anxious thoughts. This is not God look at my happy, worshipful thoughts, but know my messed up thoughts that are nothing like yours. After you know them then I want you to test them. That is inviting God into your innermost thoughts. This takes so much trust. What will God do with these thoughts? Will he smite me, reject me, or just be silent? Then I think what would Jesus do. Jesus would be tender yet firm. He would encourage me, because you know what my anxious thoughts lack… COURAGE. He would IN-COURAGE me. That might be bad grammar but it is good theology. I can trust him with my brokenness.
Point out anything in me that offends you. When I pray this I never get, “you are doing great, just keep it up.”
Psalm 23:4b Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
A rod and staff are designed to redirect and discipline a sheep. They are not to pet the sheep. The psalm writer King David, said this redirecting discipline stick comforts him. How can that be? He knows it keeps him close the that Good Shepherd. The Shepherd disciplines the sheep he loves. Discipline is love. Proverbs goes so far as to say a parent who does not discipline their kids hates them.
So I dare you to pray this dangerous prayer and then listen to what God says to you…
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Recklessly, obsessively following Jesus
Brandon Sereg
