Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm
all the days of her life. — Proverbs 31:11-12
The lesson here is that sometimes we can think we are doing our best for our family and our spouse, but there is a negative side-effect of the good we do, even if we didn’t intend it. As women leaders, we know that even as we work to do the best job we can to benefit so many people, we can undermine our closest relationships if I am not careful.
By stressing that a true woman of valor bestows only “good, not harm” upon her husband and family, Proverbs teaches us, as a women leaders, to be mindful of our family’s needs, and understand the full implications that doing good in public has on our husbands and families.
Deborah led the nation of Israel during the period of the Judges. She judged the nation, made major decisions — including leading the nation through a major war — and all the while, she brought only honor to her husband and family.
When the Bible first introduces Deborah, she is called the “wife of Lappidoth.” This is the Bible’s way of telling us that even as she ascended to national leadership, Deborah’s marriage remained strong. It is all too easy for a position of public leadership to get in the way. Deborah’s example of putting family first continues to inspire us.
