About one weekend a month, my wife serves in the Iowa National Guard and is gone for a couple of days. A few times each year, she is gone for longer stints, as she had an 8 day tour a month ago. So when this happens, we get creative with scheduling, I take time off work, and get help from family at times as well. With four kids age 2 to 12, this is a challenge at times, as I used to say it is a long meal with a few breaks through the day. I call it Dadication (a vacation with dad, who is trying to be dedicated to his kids). With any parenting responsibilities, days are always mixed with joys and challenges, and we don’t always get it right all the time. If anyone were to tell you they were a perfect parent, you would probably be suspicious that they were hiding something. Most of us try to do the best with what we know, but still make mistakes. We try to be a good parent and often fall somewhere between a helicopter parent on one end, or letting the kids raise themselves on the other. Who are the best examples of a parent you have known?
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
When you think back to your childhood, if you are like me at all, there were times you likely butted heads and disagreed with what your parents asked you to do, or the punishment you received at times. Maybe we didn’t feel we were treated fairly or that our friends had more privileges or were treated better from their parents than we were. Kids could always find an example of someone who had it better (and also worse) than they did. But as we grew older, most of us realized our parents were probably mostly fair with us and it wasn’t as bad as we thought. I was once upset that my mother didn’t allow me to play football in Junior High, but at this point in my life, I appreciate that decision and am thankful I don’t have any more old injuries than I already do. Regardless of how mistreated or loved you felt by your parents, have you found a place to forgive them for the mistakes they made raising you?
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Proverbs 23:22
Though we have an endless supply of parenting advice and research at our fingertips, most of us get our parenting skills from what we saw and experienced from our own parents. This leads us to say things like, “I’ll never put my kids through what I went through” or “I really liked this as a kid and want my own children to experience that too.” I love sharing stories of my childhood experiences with my own kids and then trying to recreate something similar with them. I tell my children that I love them and want them to understand that doesn’t always mean saying yes to everything they want. Being a good parent means setting appropriate boundaries and saying ‘no’ just as much or more than saying ‘yes.’ Though we may not be perfect parents, we do have an example of One. When we are adopted as His children, and come to understand the depth of His love for us, it should move us to love and forgive others in the same way He has done for us. I need reminders of that every day as I strive to be the best father I can be. I pray that God will give me the knowledge and skills to be the best father I can be.
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 1 John 3:1
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
Yours in Christ,
Clark
