Is it ok to give up something? Is giving up something always negative? I struggled with this many years ago my sophomore year of college. I walked on a D-1 basketball program at Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro, TN. I have loved the game for so long, and I wanted to challenge myself to see what I could accomplish. We had only switched to 5 on 5 my junior year of high school, so I had not played the game very long in this way. I loved the possibilities of it. I sent a highlight tape from my freshman year of college in Iowa playing, and they gave me a shot. Game on!
It was so exciting to be a part of something so professional and elite. It was also slightly terrifying. I find this a must in life in any season. Get out of your comfort zone, and do the hard things! I was comfortable with basketball itself, but it was definitely a higher level of everything. It was fun getting free gear, access to tutors as we needed and so much respect from others.
After careful consideration and months of practice, I felt in my heart it was time to be done with basketball. I was missing my family greatly, extremely burnt out, and knew I needed to do something about it. I bravely called a meeting with the head coach. We had an upcoming expedition game scheduled in Hawaii close to Christmas. I wanted to be able to be with my family. I felt a bit like a fish out of water being the only Mid-western girl in the bunch. I was proud of it, but I felt a bit out of place at times. He informed me my flight was already paid for, but I explained I would rather fly home to be with family. I thanked him for the opportunity and taking a chance on me. He understood. I felt a HUGE weight come off of me when I left his office. I was disappointed to some degree, but it was time to move on and see what was next in my life. The days following were hard. I was definitely grieving something that had meant so much to me for so long. Sports had defined a great portion of my life. It had been like a good friend since the first day of t-ball! I had a lot of success in multiple sports, and it felt very lonely to not have it. I lost my way for a bit, but I continued to finish out my degree. I am proud of myself in many ways. I have always given 110% to everything I do. It was time to close that chapter.
In the end, we have to follow our gut. It is rarely wrong. We have to live with ourselves, and the decisions we make. In time; everything works out and has some reason or purpose. Sometimes we will never understand why, but we have to trust Jesus has our absolute best in mind. He can see around the corner. I say this all the time, “trust the process.” We may not always understand it, but we have to trust it to get through it. Is it easy? Heck no. We don’t learn anything when it is easy. Use those resigning of times to grow and know God has even more for us. You’re not giving up when these times comes; you are honoring yourself in the best way to live a full, productive life. This is ok. We take the lessons, preserve the memories and hard work put into it, and we use those things to press on do the next thing. Continue to lean into the guidance he gives us. You cannot fail.
Deuteronomy 31:8-9
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you for forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Blessings,
Em
